Your First Holiday Season As Newlyweds? Where Do You Spend Your Holidays?
You just got married, and now the holiday season is upon you both. You met his side of the family at the wedding, which was chaotic and stressful enough anyways. Now, both sides of the extended family are expecting you to be wth them, and you are feeling the stress again! Will you be spending it with his side, or your side? Neither, or both? So many factors will come into play with this decision, including finances and time from work, as well any children and their schedules (if part of your relationship).
The holidays are a great time and should be enjoyed by all, however with the holidays often comes a lot of stress and guilt if you are not able to be with your families. And, of course every couple needs to make their own choices based on what works best for them.
Here are some things to consider if you are facing this real and common dilema:
- DO YOUR BEST TO TRY AND SPEND THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER
One common mistake is for newlyweds to spend the holidays apart, in an attempt to please each side of their families. Unfortunately this can end up causing problems between the two of you. Don’t let guilt guide you in your decision. Unless there is a very valid reason that you must be with your family during the holidays (parent is sick and possibly dying) and your partner is not able to travel (finances, children, etc.) then it is important that you place your priority on each other and your relationship.
- OTHERS WILL TALK
The last thing you need when just getting married is to have family members and friends talk about why the two of you did not spend the holidays together. Again barring any legitmate reason, which can easily be explained and understood, other people will gossip about why the two of you did not spend your holidays together unfortunately.
- SEPARATE HOLIDAYS COULD CASUE A RIFT WITH IN-LAWS
Unfortunately it is common that in-laws may feel slighted, for example if one spouse goes to visit their side of the family and the other does not. It is a reality that you may have to deal with. It is always good to try and build the relationship between new family members and the last thing you want to do is have one side of the family feel slighted when it comes to time and attention.
There are other factors to consider but always keep in mind the main priority is your partnership, your relationship….your marriage! Most importantly for the family and friends will be your communication with them. Most people are understanding of your situation and after you have considered all of the factors carefully and explain the challenges you are facing, sharing this information with your loved ones will help some of the issues discussed above.